


Jealousy

by OmmetaC



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Six is emotionally constipated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmmetaC/pseuds/OmmetaC
Summary: Six feels jealous and doesn't know what to do about it, so he asks Q for advice





	Jealousy

Jealousy is ugly.

Six realizes that pretty quickly, when its vines twist his heart and makes him feel like he, too, is as ugly as it is.

When he saw _him_ , surrounded by people, so close to them and so far from him. A part of him wanted nothing more than pull him away from it, so he could relish in the warmth of but proximity. But at the same time, he can't help but think, that maybe he shouldn't interrupt him.

He never truly remembers when the day passes and the sun rises, his memories too muddled for him to dig through. Like sand, the events of yesterday simply passes between his fingers. Yet he remembers the feeling. All too well, too much.

In conclusion, he despises himself.

He doesn't quite recall how long he's spent thinking about it, but in the end, he chose to confide.

"Jealousy is human."

Dorothea's words as she picks up the teacup held no hesitation, the steam of the hot drink dissipating into thin air. She's not looking at him, and somehow, the fact gives him a sense of relief. It feels more like she's talking to herself rather than to him.

"It is ugly," she speaks again, "but it is human." This time, her gaze shifts to him, "just as you are, Xavier."

"You are a human, and a child." 

And Six laughs, "you're only four years older than me," he says, but he had always known she's not as young as her own body. Old, ethereal. He never had quite the words to describe her, but he was never good with words.

"You're a child to me," and so are the rest of the world, goes unspoken. She doesn't intend to scare this child when he's still unaware of her true nature, even though she dotes on him as much as she did his other selves.

"Regardless, isn't it fine to be jealous?" 

Six stops in his tracks, she doesn't stop talking.

"Sometimes jealousy is a proof of affection, as ugly as it is," she stares down at the amber liquid, "it says of how much you love that boy, no?" She recalls seeing said man, not someone she expected to garner Xavier's attention, but she never understood others, her children included.

Across the table, Six buries his face in his own hands. And for once, Dorothea laughs. It doesn't help him.

There is truth in her words, of course. Even Six can tell she won't lie to him over such trivial matters. Well, trivial to her, not him.

And certainly, he has experienced jealousy before, when he was in school, when his friends no longer included him in their circle. When it seemed like everyone else had it easy, while he suffered even for just trying to remember his days, the appointments he missed. 

Those seemed trivial compared to now.

"It's fine to express it as well," Dorothea adds, pausing, "in moderation." Emotions can easily overwhelm. She knows well how _too much_ can hurt.

Six grumbles, it's exactly what he doesn't want to do. It's ugly, and he's lacking redeemable points as it is already, what would he think if Six also showed this side of him as well?

"That boy isn't free of jealousy either, you know?" Amusement tugs at the corner of Dorothea's lips. Six knows she's not mocking him, she never does, but it does sour his mood a bit more. "You're rather affectionate this time around, what would you think if that boy also acted the same way as you do with others?"

The thought makes Six feels horrible, really. He's actually starting to regret talking about this to her. She has her way with words, but she always uses it in the worst way possible.

"It's not a bad thing, how you share so much of yourself with others. It's endearing, almost." And pray, tell, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Have you even ever been in love?" Six asks instead, Dorothea speaks too... Well, like her. It's probably rubbed off on him too, with the way he talks to people. He can't tell whether it's a good or bad influence sometimes, but he can tell when it gets on people's nerves. She can too, he thinks.

Dorothea sets her cup down silently, and Six almost thinks he hit a nerve. "Once, a long time ago," she says, her gaze piercing when she looks at him. "It ruined both he and I," a distant memory, "but it's not my place to tell."

"Perhaps if you meet him, you may ask about it, but it will serve you well to not remember this." She stands up, reaching a hand to ruffle his hair, "regrets are far more painful than you'd think, Xavier."

"Do not hesitate, life is too fleeting." For him, especially.

She waves him goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Q/Dorothea isn't fully human, if you can't tell lol
> 
> She knows Six from a previous life, he's basically her son


End file.
